When you have depression or PTSD it is not always obvious. We get out of bed using sheer determination. Go through the day the best we can. Smile when we have to and generally suck down all the feelings we have. We try to blend in. We feel deeper the sadness of others because we feel our own deep sadness so keenly.
We withstand the idiots that say, “Can’t you just get over it? That happened a long time ago.” Or “well there is no war going on here so just move on.” They say this because in their lives there is no fear of imminent danger waiting around the corner or waiting to spring out at you from so hidden place. They experience their own loss and sadness differently. And that is okay. I would not wish my pain on anyone.
And yet here we are. Going through our day. For some it is far harder than others. I remember when I would sit in front of the television and watch the same movie over and over again because the continuity gave me a feeling of safety and peace. I have moved and healed quite a lot since then. But I still feel the mind numbing fear and anxiety.
But, and here is the really amazing thing. We are still here! We lived through whatever horrors we experienced. We are here and we live. We are not weak. We are strong. We should not be ashamed that something was done and we could not stop it. We should realize the bravery and courage it took to survive and live. Because we are brave and we are courageous. We are still here. In whatever state we are in, we are here!
So, CHEERS! We are alive and today can be a day of celebration. Be kind to yourself. I will strive to be kind to myself today as well. So in the immortal words of Dr. Seuss “WE ARE HERE!” So congratulations for being here, for surviving, and for moving on in your journey. I am very glad you are. Because you are not alone and you are wanted.